Thursday, October 20, 2005
0 cHeRI LefT TheIr FoOTpRiNTs
Tu ME MaNquEsAs e big dae drew near, i tot i would b embracin it wif much anticipation butz little did i realise i was actually lookin at it wif much dread.....
Everythin seem e same, but deep down in my heart, i noe it isnt.......
It sounds like it's gonna b alotz of fun, butz yet i noe so well.....
it's no longer a smile frm deep within,
neither it is laughter frm e heart,
n i guess it's juz gonna b happiness on e surface......
Would u still rem tis big dae of mine? Would u still stay up juz 2 send mi wishes exactly on e dot of 12? Would u still gt mi a cheesecake which i selfishly asked if u bought it out of ur love 4 cheesecakes? Would u still wake up early juz 2 make breakfast 4 my big dae? Would u? Would u?
I once told u hw much i enjoy bein wif big gps of pple, goin totally wild n enjoy ourselves 2 e fullest. All i care abt is havin fun, bein myself n enjoy my every single sec of life...who cares abt pple stares n wat they sae when life is so short 4 us 2 do all e things wi wan.......
I once told u tat i m a gal who yearn 4 freedom n fun much more than anythin else n no1, nt even u will b able 2 change mi or the lifestyle i yearn 4....
I guess i was wrong..........
U taught mi hw 2 appreciate e simplest things in life....even juz a simple walk at e beach can b filled wif so much more bliss n joy than partyin ard all nite long....
A simple meal at the hawker centre can b so much more satisfyin n fillin than some big feasts at some hotels or restaurants....
I started 2 c life in a dif way...in ur way, i guess.
Simple butz yet the joy was frm deep within my heart, nt juz on e surface itself.
I truly enjoyed those moments of life.....was so glad tat my heart could smile, could laugh, could cry....
Butz i guess no matter hw i changed, i m still a party gal who yearn 4 more than juz a simple life....thou i still enjoyed ur presence, i gt a little tired wif ur simplicity....i missed my gang, missed e fun, e wildness wi alwaz hav.....missed all e shoppin spree, e pamperin sessions wif my kar kees....e longin 4 such fun was so strong tat i dint even bother 2 hide it frm u.....
In life, u lose a little...u gain a little.....
I lost u n i gained back my frienz n all e fun n life tat i was yearnin 4.....
Was tis a profitable deal?
Seriously, i dunno......
Thou i m rather happie wif my current state of life, i noe i did lost a great deal....
Deep down, i noe i screwed it up myself so i hav no1 2 blame butz mi. If i hadnt sae certain things or do certain things, would e outcome b dif frm wat it is nw? Once again, i noe i onli hav myself 2 blame n e regrets tat i hav 2 lived wif....
Hw i wish i can juz hav both, e 1 tat i lost n e 1 tat i gained...i noe i m alwaz like tat, tryin all means n way 2 hav e best of both world n each time i will gt a knock on my head, sayin tat i m so greedy, alwaz wan tis n tat....
Nw, there's no longer u 2 knock on my head so can tat b my bdae wish?
I dunno y i feel so down....Izit juz mi or izit my pms or izit mi+pms? *Shrug*
Mayb it's juz mi gettin slightly tired wif my current life...
I guess a small part of mi juz wish 4 tat simplicity which i once enjoyed so much....which explains y lately, i m nt in much of a party mood....juz feel like lazin ard....
Or mayb....i m sufferin frm e withdrawal symptoms of alcohol....
I miss drinkin!!!
N i miss e high butz nt yet drunk feelin....haha...
Tis is realli nt gettin healthy lohz...
I shall nt b down anymore, shall perk myself up, gt my butt out of my hse n start enjoyin my life n go partyin......after all, i had alreadi lost somethin big 2 gain all these.....
Nxt fri, shall he dao tong kuai.......bu zui bu gui.....hehe
ST, when u cum back, wi go lim jiu.....Onz boh? keke
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YiHui BLaEh BLaEH...
at |9:45 AM|
