Thursday, January 24, 2008
0 cHeRI LefT TheIr FoOTpRiNTs
It was my second exam yesterday, Quantitative Methods. The exam was ok and I am really hoping to get a higher distinction or a distinction for it.
I was on leave yesterday to prepare myself for the exams and today when I came back to work; news of my resignation has spread to different departments. Some of them was shocked by my sudden decision and some was wondering why cant I stay a little longer till my other colleague come back from her leave. I know my resignation implicated other people and I am really sorry that they have to cover my duties during my absence till a replacement is found. I hate to cause trouble and inconvenience to others because it makes me feel really bad, but I really had enough. During my one year here, I have seen many people leaving, some are so sudden that they leave within a day or two, some they left after a month notice. Most of the time, I will be the one covering their duties till a replacement is found. I cant deny that I am tired from constantly doing two people’s job. Even now, I am still doing so. It is good in a way because I get to learn many new things from doing other people’s work, but there is a time whereby I feel sick and tired of it and this is the time now. With my packed study schedule, I am really worn out. I am tired of facing all those uncleared work left by others, tired of being asked questions which I am totally clueless about. If I could run away and hide somewhere, I will be gladly to. Sounds like I am living in denial? I guess I am for now, but I do need some time to heal and recharge myself before setting off again.
In principles of marketing, I learnt about what are needs, wants, demands and the differences between them. In life, I am sure all of us have many needs, wants and demands. But ironically, what you need may not be what you want, what you want is not what you need and sometimes what you get is neither of these two. Sometimes, time make a difference too. Something may be right but because it comes at the wrong time, it becomes a wrong thing and something because, it comes at the right time, everything seems to be right. Sounds complicated? Life is complicated mah and so are Scorpios.
I admit that I am one fucking complicated girl. Sometimes I wonder why I am a Scorpio and not a Gemini. There are many times whereby I feel I have split personalities. What I am in the day is different from what I am at night. What I am alone is different from what I am with friends. What I am thinking is different from what my heart is thinking. Sounds complicated huh?? Haha…I think so too. I wish I could be a simpler girl with lesser thoughts and ideas but wouldn’t that make mi a rather boring person?
Haoyi always tell me how much she enjoyed being with me because I somehow always channel very positive energy to her, motivating her and perking her up. But recently, I have been feeling rather negative and drained. I guess it is due to the lack of sleep, exam stress and the working environment I am in now. People, friends always see a very sunny side of me, very positive with lots of logics, but I myself suddenly feel lost. I cant wait to take the break to do nothing but to reflect on myself, think about my future and have plenty of rest to fully recharge myself to be the fighter I have always been.
Suddenly, I miss Taipei a lot. I don’t know why but I miss the busy streets, the cooling weather, the yummilicious food, the shopping malls, the outskirts, the railway train, the train station, the beautiful sunset, the beautiful sea view, the fresh seafood, the old and unique streets of Jiu Fen, the Dong Jiang You Tiao, the convenience stores and the packed food they sell, the friendly people there and many many more. I wish I could be there right now, enjoying the nice weather. That would really be bliss. Better still, I pray that I can find a job, which allows me to fly to Taiwan as often as possible…please? I promise to be a really good girl……
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YiHui BLaEh BLaEH...
at |11:41 AM|
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